peanut butter, honey, and crackers > gold

  The content of this website/blog are mine personally and do not reflect any position of the United States government or the Peace Corps.

Each saturday, all 40 volunteers come together from their individual sights for more training.

When we do, I cant even tell you the pure joy on our faces when the PC brought out a tub of peanut butter and a bottle of honey, and crackers. It was just as good as any christmas morning in recent memory.

Talk about a wonderful moment in my life. Just look at that bar of gold in my hand

I remember needing to close my eyes because my body could only handle so many senses at one time when that sweet honey, which was more like gold, was all up in my mouth piece.

I must have had 10 crackers, striaght up a glutton with the amount of pb and honey on those bad boys. I remember pointing out to my friend Travis that he has food on his face and he's like "it doesnt matter... just leave it, man." I knew exactly what he meant.

Then I go to the bathroom and - ah! - another treasure! Soap! Running water! A flushing toilet each and every time I press the lever! The day was simply magical. There wasnt even a single fly to speak of!

Dont get me wrong, I LOVE my site, and and beginning to enjoy not needing any luxuries. I like not worrying about that stuff. But I can assure you I have never treasured as much as I did yesterday the taste of  that cracker with peanut butter and honey and as much delicious tea and coffee as my tummy could handle.

The way I prepared mine, in case you are interested, is that I spread the peanut butter evenly with the knife, then i carved this crevice in the pb in a straight line, then filled that with honey. Then with each delicious bite, I would scoot my tongue along the bite-line, as to move the peanut butter to cover the area that the honey would not be able to drip out of. I had that jawn DOWN. 

The PC is so good to us.

In fact, I even ration the Oreos they bring. They bring these little packs of 4, and I decided to save them for days during the week that I am sad. So far I ate 2, and that's not because I was sad yet, its just because its hard to save them.

Us in one of the PC buses

What do I miss most, food wise? Desert. We all went around and talked about what desert we would want most, and what we would be willing to pay for it. I mean, we eat very well, and three times a day, but there just isn't desert here. For each person who went around, the desert got more and more ridiculous and grand.

I just wanted a big sundae. And maybe with some cookies n cream ice cream. And definitely lots of chocolate sauce. And a little caramel, too. I don't like cherries much, but that would be a nice touch right now. I would look at it for a long time before eating it just so glare at its beauty.

And for the record, everyone in my group is posting about crackers and peanut butter, so if you think Im crazy, well, you may be correct, but at least I am not the only one.

I dont even know whats happening.

I continue to adjust more and more each day, I think.

Well, whats new... well, on Saturday, me and the 3 other volunteers are going to be teaching 10 kids from my class how to plant a veggie garden. We chose a plot right next to the classrooms, and started to prepare the ground today. Its kind of terrifying that we are supposed to teach these kids, in Spanish, how to do this stuff, in three days.

More terrifying is that I am going to be teaching my first class (again, in Spanish) in 10 days – not this Monday, but the following. Wtf. 

And even more… well, not terrifying, but certainly more odd, is how I got to be part of our towns baseball team. A bunch of us went to the game at our local stadium on Sunday, and I remarked to a girl who is the host sister of one of my fellow volunteers “I could do that.” And then I said one more time a little bit later that I really want to play.

Well, it turns out that later in the game shes like, well, theres my dad, and points to the guy on the field, and shes like “hes the manager of the team.” So the next day we go to class (we have class in her house) and shes like, “so, theres practice today and my dad wants you there.” So Im like wow… yeah, sure.

The only problem is that Ive been sick with… well, who knows what the hell Im sick from.

Anyway, I went to practice Monday, then they were like come back tomorrow, then they said come back again. And today they gave me a uniform and asked if I can play Sunday at the local stadium with their team, and Im going to play first base, I think.  Goodness gracious, what have I gotten myself into.

This is awesome/nerve racking.

Arriba y Bajo

 The content of this website/blog are mine personally and do not reflect any position of the United States government or the Peace Corps.

Man how things change in one week.

When I got here I was way too overwhelmed. The first night I almost couldnt even handle it · I couldnt understand anyone, still had the embarrassment/fear wall up, and was totally surrounded by a place completely unfamiliar.

I could go on and on about that feeling of hopelessness/embarrassment/fear/disconnectedness, but I will leave it at that I was all of those feelings and slightly depressed maybe, for a few days. Every day was up and down and up and down with my mental state. BUT..

Yesterday was the FIRST day that I felt comfortable! Talking, walking in my city (we walk everwhere), and I am evennn starting to be able to understand most of what my host mom and dad says (if you heard them speak, you should be clapping for me right now on account of them breaking the world record for most words spoken in a minute.) people here dont really get the concept of slowing down when they talk, save my older sister, who has become the ¨...what did she say?¨ person that I go to. Shes a boss.

Things that stressed me--

At first, I still needed to sit myself down almost every single day before I left my room to tell myself that I can do it.

Most of what scared the hell out of me is that I am going to be teaching my first class in three weeks  at the school · in spanish. Whoa. And conducting community surveys in peoples houses · in spanish. Its a daily, hourly worry of mine, but everyone says youll pick it up. I can already see ive improved an insane amount, and I can certainly get myself around now.

My group of 4 was even able to navigate to two separate cities today via a taxi, on foot, then a bus, there and back. And these arent average taxis or buses. The same rules that exist in the US arent here.

Next Saturday I am leading a group of  students in the school to begin planting our school garden. All is in spanish.

One thing thats awesome is that I have to take a bucket shower half of the days. Since the water is out in the town every day for several hours, various times, theres a barrel in the shower filled high and you have this oversized cup that you pour over your head.

Its actually kind of nice and I am beginning to love bucket showers. My community is really poor and is an awesome culture shock. I am beginning to really enjoy it.

Some things I need to get used to are the noise. Last night as I was laying in bed, and I had this odd feeling that something wasnt right, like something was off, and I couldnt put my finger on it.

Finally, I realized that it was absolutely the first time since I arrived, the VERY first moment, that there was no noise. No dogs barking, none of that damn rooster that camps outside my window (although it still kindly waked me up at 5 am every day), no tv blairing in the house (the walls that separate the rooms dont reach the ceiling, so you can hear everthing)...

... no kids yelling, no one in the streets, no music playing, no one walking in my house, no noise from that parrot that lives in my house that repeats what my host mom says, and even repeats her laugh. None of it! How blissful.

Oh, and the neighbors must be having a part every single day at 530 am, because I wake up to that blairing music too. But its all part of the charm. Some things you just need to accept, and I have gladly accepted a lot of things.

I am lucky that I havent felt any homesickness really.And I dont really miss having any ammenities, either. And I am trying my best not to say that this place is better/worse than at home. To do that is something that is very ingrained in American culture-to compare things. Its just different.

Hasta luegooooo

This is bull

 The content of this website-blog are mine personally and do not reflect any position of the United States government or the Peace Corps

For your entertainment, first I will put the awesome stuff about my pueblo (town), and some other interesting things, then the serious stuff like how overwhelming and stressful and lonely and depressing it can be in the next post! for now only positive stuff. I have experienced every emotion I ever have in a matter of one week.

I simply must start with what happened to me yesterday with two bulls. I literally RAN face to face with a bull. Okay, so I was walking my classmates home (theres 2 of the 3 girls on the other side of town, like 5 minutes from my house), and when I dropped off the last girl, Geri, we turned around and realized two bulls were about 20 feet behind us the whole time. I have NO idea where they came from. 

We were like in shock, kind of laughing, and kind of like... wtf?? Only here.

One walks like 50 feet away in the other direction, and one walks like 10 feet away. I assumed it was safe, slash normal to see them in the streeets, so i started walking down the stairs to the streets and then the bulls turns its head in my direction and starts walking. 

Geri and I are dying laughing, because... how many times is a giant bull with some serious horns going to prevent me from getting to my house?? Totally normal. 

On top of it, all ican think of isthis guy on the news last night that was killed by a bull. So anyway, this brave ass dog decides to come up to it, and it literally snarles it in the face. I would have paid a million dollars for that picture. Then the bull made a soundand the dog ran like  crazy and the bull chased it around a corner. It was totally dark by this time, and I was late for dinner at my house, so I needed to bounce. I took that as an opportunity to leave.

Once i passed the corner where the bull went, in order to get home, I had to take this roundabout way because it was dark and i couldnt take the darker, more direct route. So I started running home, not out of fear (well, not totally out of fear), and so i ran liketwo blocks and then turned and ran twomore blocks. As I was approaching the corner, it was literally the most shocking moment in my lifewhen I literally ran face to face with the bull. No joke it was between 10 and 15 feet from me. The bull must have taken the direct route, and we reached the corner at the EXACT same time. What are the odds.

When I saw that thing, I was like... no...freaking way. I seriously couldnt believe it. When I run, for some reason I usually keep my head down, but just as I looked up when I approached the intersection was then I saw the bull and Istopped dead in my tracks.

For anyone that has never run into a bull before, they are about 500 pounds or so? Maybe 6 or 7feet long, and like 3 or 4 feet wide. It was terrifying. 

It turned toward me, then continued turning, thank god, to snack on grass on the corner, I think. 

I slowly crossed the street, then continue runing, head on a swivel. I got home with a new feeling of thanks for life. I told my host mom, and my spanish teacher, who was visiting my mom until really late. They all had a good laugh and my heart had a good beat.

Bueno, lets move on. Here are some 

Have to remind myself all the time to think positive. It wouldbe so easy to look at all the things I dont have. All of the negative things. But I tell myself minute by minute,hour by hour that one place is not better or worse than another, its different.

Here are some awesome things about this place. 

There are always, always people in the streets. At all times of the day. Just sitting. Hanging out, talking.

Everyones door is open, always. If they are going to bed, the door finally closes. But I cannot even guess how many peoplego in and out of a house in oneday. Its SUCH a community sense there. Peoplehave their own property, but everyone walks in an out and visits and everyones family lives in the pueblo. 

They wash their clothes by scrubbing them on that metal thing with ridges, lavadora in spanish, I think it is.

When they make drinks, they actually make themfrom fruit.

The food is always freshly picked.

People sell their food in the streets, walking around with it and literally asking you in your house, from outside, if you want to buy.

People sell things from their house too. My mom sells fruit drinks. Muaha.

People walk around with baskets of fruit or whatever they are selling on their head.

Everyone has a garden. 

If you sit and watch for 5 minutes, you will see a man riding a horse (for transportation), many many people riding 2 or 3 to each bike. Kids, families, adults,everyone. Youll see taxis, these little mototaxis with 3 wheels, a giant truck thats open on the top and has between 3 and 10 people on top of whatever its carrying, and some motobikes, and a few cars maybe, and many people walking. We literally had to watch for 5 minutes for an in class assignment (we have class on a second floor porch in someones house). 

Okay,

Thats all I have time for now. And I have no idea where my camera is and would feel really weird whipping out my ipad when most people wouldnt be ableto afford that now for years of working.

Klove you and miss you guys!

(Sorry these blogs are long - I am writing a lot so I can look back one day on my thoughts and what was going on. But hope you can take plenty away).


I finished my first three days of orientation, and tomorrow morning, I am heading to meet my host family! us to our host families; all 40 of us were in a room, and the PC staff would put up a picture of a family, say what town/city they live in, then we would kind of have a drumroll and they would announce what person in our group has them as our new family. Then everyone was hoot and holler and clap and they would give us a sheet of paper with all their info.

I asked to be in a family with kids, and just LOOK at that little girl - SO CUTE! She is 4 years old and will probably be the girl who teaches me the most spanish out of anyone. Cant wait to have a 4 year old best friend.

My group! (read below)

There are three other girls in my group who will be living with other families in my city. No PC volunteers live with other volunteers; each of us has our own family. The other 3 girls, Clair, Clair, and Geri, are really awesome. I love them already and we are gonna get along like hermanos (siblings). 

we will be in the area on the western side that is dark pink

I cant say I have connected with one person in my group more than others - thats not usually how I roll. I have spend almost equal time with everyone.

a decent amt of our group taking a break from our class

A quick note about spiders - they are the size of my palm (maybe 4 or 5 inches in diameter) - tarantulas. One girl woke up with one right next to her bed. Then unfortunately killed the poor bastard and brought him into class to show all of us.

The bats fly all around us (literally hit my friend joe in the face) at night. The cute little lizards are always crawling on the walls outside. 

Anyway, surprising to myself is that I am not too nervous - not for any of this language stuff. I talked to a returned PC volunteer and they said they wasted a lot of time worrying, and could have been enjoying, and that we all will get it. Might as well enjoy it. I certainly plan to. This is a SICK opportunity and still cant believe I am in here. In fact, I feel so lucky, that I still keep thinking I am going to somehow have something happen that will make me leave! But overall, I feel good here. 

Like.. good on the inside - emotionally, mentally, whatever you want to call it. It feels good.

Whats cool is that Ive been able to speak with people in our group in spanish outside of classtime. That doesn't sound like its a big achievement, but it is a monumental effort to consciously decide to speak something that neither of you know terribly well and pass up quick, easy, and fun (and non-brain-hurting) conversation. But I have opted for the former many times, and its so fun.

DURING classtime - get this- we had it outside, and there was literally a parrot in the tree next to us skuawking

We have a few fluent speakers in our group, and those are some of the people I have been having quick chats with and practicing with, and other times just whoever is around me. I am really trying to get into my mind the idea of not being embarrassed. Its an incredibly difficult thing to get out of your mind. I have more than not won the battle thus far, and will continue to push myself to do so.

My environmental education group

Some of the most helpful people here have been current PC members that have been in country for a year who are volunteering to be here for our first 3 days to ease our transition. We ask them any and every question (where to travel to, how to meet people best, what to eat, how to pay host parents to get them to cook for you (muahaha), if anyone from their group is dating a nica (the answer is yes), how to go about getting cell phones, abotu safety, etc).

The past few days the PC has given us med kits, given us shots, started us on malaria meds (which are supposed to give you crazy dreams), and given us Nicaraguan money (the equivalent of like.. 8 dollars, which apparently is supposed to last us until next Friday?? I already spent half of it on drinks - woops). They have taken care of us so so much and have looked out for us. They are all so nice - all of the staff in country. Many are Nicaraguans themselves. 

clearly excited about my "Emergency Diarrhea Medical Kit," as labeled in red

The next three months are going to be spanish classes for the entire day, and an activity in the evening that helps us practice what we worked on that day. The way they tested us the past 2 days was first a one-on-one interview, then today we split up into teams of 8, and played some games in spanish that would bring out how much we knew. 

I actually surprised myself for how much spanish I remember. I am no impressive speaker, but talking in a different language is hard, and I am not doing too bad. 

The amount of info, however, that the PC covers in their sessions with us is insane. Im trying to internalize it all but a mans brain can only handle so many words in one day.

I have been going out of my way to spend time with each person in our group. Its tough because there is only so much time in the day and between events and sessions, but thats always the way I operate and always will. I want to know and be close to as many people as I can. 

I keep trying to go out of my way to ask how each person is REALLY doing - not just to say the typical response, but to actually see if they are okay emotionally and mentally so far. Every PC group has several people drop because of various reasons, many of which are because they are homesick, or sad/depressed. I think most are in high spirits now, and as for me, I think we have been so busy that I havent even had the time to think about being homesick. 

Ive lived a lifestyle the past few years that Ive been away from family and "home" for extended periods of time, and that has more than adjusted me, such that this actually feels totally normal to me. Tonight I got to skype with mommom (in delaware), and jay and mom (in LA) for the first time since I arrived. 

I posted a few pics to facebook and added a status or two about me leaving, and its really encouraging seeing so many people supporting me, sending messages, and wishing me luck. It makes me feel so much better to know that. 

Im somehow exhausted already, not even 24 hours into my 27 months of Peace Corps service- oops.

We got done orientation at 7 pm yesterday in DC, went out to dinner, and a few beers and hot wings later, it was somehow midnight and I had to wake up in 2 hours to check out, get ready, and catch our 3am bus (who does that?) to the airport. 

My favorite section they covered during orientation was regarding food illness. It's inevitable. They said take it in good humor, and my favorite quote from our director was, I quote:

"Every fart is a gamble."

I like these people.

The day before I'd taken a train from DE to DC, where I met my new family of 40 volunteers, all heading to Nica,  who will be looking for a new adventure in life just as I am. Just being with the others throughout our sessions, and many of us realizing that none of our Spanish is good- at all- made me feel way better.

We got the chance to meet each other and everyone seems awesome. Great personalities, full of life, and ready to rock and roll. Since I am an environmental education volunteer though, I expected the PC to choose hippy-ish type people with half tattered clothes and dreads, and people who fit that weird environmental-type of look, but CAN you believe it- everyone was  "normal" !!

Maybe now is the time I should mention what the Peace Corps told us is mandatory to put in our blogs: my views on this blog are solely mine and do not reflect the beliefs or values of the Peace Corps in any way, shape, or form.

My group and I at the airport today right before boarding

so before I left, a bunch of my friends joked that I would come back a shaggy-haired, tree hugging hippy. That is yet to be determined, but I am willing to put my entire life savings (we're talking about... 24 dollars, at this point), on the fact that that will not happen. So we will see - in due time.

The reason I didn't post my blog before was because it still didn't feel real that I was leaving- I needed to get to the airport, take off, and land in my new home to realize that it's actually happening. And yes, it is. Somehow after the yearlong application process, I simply thought there was no way I would actually be leaving; something had to get in the way.  But nothing did- and here I am. In Nicaragua. Blessed.

me on the plane with 3 of our other volunteers!

Don't bother asking me how I feel- you can pick most any emotion and I'm there. Obviously excited and nervous top the list, but one thing I am not, is scared. I'm really looking forward to soaking it all in!

It was bittersweet seeing America get smaller and smaller as we took off; I love that country with all my heart. But I felt secure and confident about the new adventure, and have begun to make room in my heart for a new love, for a new home. After all - I'm not alone either. I've got my new family of 40 to learn and explore and struggle and sadden and joy with throughout the 2 years, and I look forward to that.

I'll be in the capital, Managua, for the next 3 days (with Internet!), then with a Nicaraguan family close-by (maybe... with Internet?) for 3 months while we take language classes (my Spanish isn't the best thing this world has ever seen, so I'll need it)

Right before I left to the PC I went on a trip to Disney world, and I have a new quote I enjoy by Walt Disney, that I will hold close to my heart: 

"I think everyone should have a good hard failure when they are young." 

That sounds like an odd thing for me to say before embarking on the most ballsy thing I've ever done- but it's true. I hope I fail, and succeed, and learn, and grow. I want it all

Lastly, I am a believer that God gave me two hands and two feet to go make an impact on the world. I'm taking life by the horns (is that even a phrase?? I don't prefer the bull reference) and making the most of it. I never want to look back and say I didn't do what I wanted to and what would have enrich my life the most. I can confidently say I am fulfilling those things, and making the most of life